Despite how it may feel, setting rules in relationships will actually leave you feeling more insecure.
Rules mean your partner can't do things that might hurt you because they are not allowed to do so.
Agreements, on the other hand, mean they don't do things that would hurt you because they don't want to.
One of the things I don't like about #polyamory is it's not something I generally feel comfortable talking about in mixed company or public spaces. More because I don't want to bother to explain it to anyone than a fear of doing so. It's tiring! Today I had coffee with a friend who I don't see often but already knows, and it was just really nice talking about life without having to censor myself at all. Reminds you what it should feel like.
"People in non-monogamous relationships are as happy as monogamous couples, but…
... there's a serious catch."
The "serious catch" is society mononormatvity. Society likes to look down, and discriminate against people who live under a consensual non-monogamy arrangement.
I recently finished reading "The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet" by Becky Chambers.
It was a quick and fun read. I liked the thoughts on war and peace, the criticism of fundamentalist faith, the union of multiple alien species in the Galactic Commons (GC), and the fact that they favored peaceful coexistence over profit in the end. The descriptions of the polyamorous culture of the Aandrisk (including the concepts of chosen families) were also quite heartwarming.
Given how often this book is recommended in the context of Solarpunk, I was a bit disappointed that it did not offer any new economic concepts. The characters still work for credits and buy stuff and even privileges with credits.
The discussion around whether hierarchy in #polyamory is ethical or not is a contentious one, but someone we can all agree on is that it's not okay to pretend to be non-hierarchical only to enforce a hierarchy on your relationships without discussion.
Sneakyarchy comes in many forms. Sometimes, people don't realise they are doing it. However, others actively pretend to be non-hierarchical in order to get someone to date them.
Hi! New instance, new pinned post.
Send me cool people to follow (or introduce yourself!)
- leftists
- functional programmers, 'spcly #OCaml folks
- #Queer mfers, #BDSM, or #polyamory
- fans of #SystemicGames (#Factorio, #RimWorld, and the like)
come @ me 
#TransRightsReadathon (Self Promotion time.)
I invite you to read my light novels - Trans writer, Trans characters.
For Love of a Konbini Idol: I Face Her Onryo Lover
For Love of a Konbini Idol: I Braved the Otherside
For Love of a Konbini Idol: I Searched for the Kudan
No good deed goes unpunished. As Umi discovers when she rescues Shiomi. Neither Shiomi nor the jealous, vengeful ghost that stalks her appreciates the act. Something they both make clear. As for Ume’s partner, Tomo, he is less than thrilled at the intrusion of an unpleasant third into their relationship. “I know I told you to find someone who would appreciate your advances, but I really question your taste.”
At: https://www.pixiv.net/novel/series/11417104
https://archiveofourown.org/works/52770025
Doom Guy created this glorious edit of a gender meme.
If this isn’t us coming out as plural, unclockable multigender fucks, I don’t know what is.
Image description: text on the upper left panel reads “I wish I was’t”, followed by an image of a skull with an abnormally small sized brain inside of it on the right side.
The next text panel down on the left reads “I can just”, followed by an image of a human head with a brain with neurons firing on the right side.
The second to last text panel panel down on the left reads “I always was [redacted]”, followed by an image of a human head with a glowing brain inside of it.
The final text panel on the bottom left of the image reads “destroy capitalism”, followed by an image of a human head with a brain inside of it emitting rays of light on the bottom right. (end description)
-Allēna
#Polyamory doesn't just require learning about relationships but learning about yourself.
If you want to learn and grow, you don't only need to broaden your horizons and discover more about the world. You need to focus inward and learn more about yourself.
Once you do, you might be surprised at the things that actually make you happy.
Sometimes, when reading books on #polyamory and non-monogamy, it's easy to feel detached. They will focus on broad topics in a way that means you don't necessarily connect with you personally or are books that discuss polyamory as a concept to be studied rather than reflecting your personal experience.
Not polywise. When I was reading this book, I felt like I was reading about myself.
Let me be clear, this is a 100% sex-positive account. If your style of non-monogamy has a strong sexual element, then that is wonderful, and we support you. The world needs to be more open and honest about sex.
But that doesn't mean sex and sexual exploration are an essential part of polyamory. It's possible to be sex-positive and non-sexual. #Polyamory is about creating relationships that work for us, not pressuring everyone into wanting the same things.
I've watched the trailer to the upcoming Rom Com "Materialists" (with Dakota Johnson, Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans) and oh, dear, this looks like yet another version of the dramatic love triangle. I bet that the female protagonist finally has to decide between the two men, because these stories always go like that and none of the characters ever consider an open relationship or #polyamory. I am so tired of such stories.
The IMDB-page of the #film:
https://www.imdb.com/de/title/tt30253473/
Boundaries are important. But it can be challenging to identify and communicate exactly where our boundaries are.
Sometimes, we only learn our boundaries when we come up against them, or when someone crosses one we didn't know we had.
You are never "too far" into a relationship to learn about and communicate a new boundary.
#WritersCoffeeClub 14: What are new themes you are currently exploring?
* 1: Conflict between the ideals of monogamy and poly. I have a character who has always identified as monogamous who finds themselves attracted to multiple people.
2: Ancient evil trying to return to the world
3: Tie in of story with major world events
The first is the big one.
If there is one word you will find yourself seeing a lot when you start your journey into #polyamory, it will be the word "compersion". But what exactly is compersion, and why is it such a big part of people's discussions about ethical non-monogamy?
Let’s take a closer look.
overall I'm REALLY impressed with the feedback people give on the #polyamory subreddit. Supportive when needed, blunt also non-nonsense "dump him he doesn't respect you" type stuff when the person's letting someone take advantage of them.
Not everyone agrees, but it's surprisingly not bullshitty from what I've seen.
2/2
I don't know what to make of it exactly, but I find it interesting that the r/polyamory subreddit has needed to deploy a bot that just copies the original post body, because - as far as I can tell - people post things, the community disagrees with them or tells them they're being silly / overthinking things, and then 
the post body is deleted.
1/2
#polyamory
I have a friend who is pretty much a #Republican by default (i.e., he claims to be apolitical but only consistently avoids political topics when the Republican position is the status quo; he will comment on other issues). He might be trying out a new "open mindedness" thing, though, and he once even claimed to be "more or less an #Anarchist" at heart.
I'm making a list of #questions to ask him about #anarchy. They were significantly more provocative until my partner (who is very good at this kind of thing) offered some rewordings:
Anarchy questions
How do you feel about the unrestricted movement of people? (i.e., #OpenBorders)
What are your thoughts on loving relationships (romantic/sexual) with multiple partners (i.e., more than 2), where everyone consents, up to and including marriage? (i.e., #polyamory, #RelationshipAnarchy, etc.)
How would you feel about your children having an equal voice in their education, along with all other individuals that are a part of their school around decisions like hours of operation, topics taught, hiring, etc.? (i.e., #AlternativeSchools, #AlternativeEducation)
What are your thoughts about individual police accountability when officers break laws?
What is your cost/benefit analysis of the existence of #police?
What is your cost/benefit analysis of the existence and/or current implementation of #prisons?
What are your thoughts on people inhabiting abandoned houses they don't own? (i.e., #squatting)
What do you think about #RightToRoam (i.e., even private land should allow people to freely pass through, temporarily camp, etc.)?
Notes:
Ne-Yo Reveals His Four Girlfriends on Instagram https://www.inbella.com/946174/ne-yo-reveals-his-four-girlfriends-on-instagram/ #CelebritiesNews #CelebrityRelationships #music #NeYo #polyamory #PyramidSchemes #R&B
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