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#eatingdisorders

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🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄)

#CW: talk of abuse, control, and food.

This morning at breakfast my partner apologized for leaving the heel* of the bread loaf for me, and I was reminded of how much my ex used to control my eating.

*there was another loaf thawing, so I could have easily eaten that instead of the heel.

I used to get a "talking-to" for:
- eating the last of anything my ex might want.
- not eating the last of anything my ex didn't want.
- asking for things I wanted (like Swiss cheese**).
- cooking something for myself that they liked.
- cooking something for myself they didn't like.
- not cooking things just the way they liked.
- eating "too much".
- being "too thin".

**earlier in my relationship with my current partner, while we were at the grocery store, they asked if there was any cheese I wanted. I said "I like Swiss" as I broke down crying, following up with "but I'm not really allowed to get it".

My current partner is amazing, and my ex is my ex for a lot of good reasons, and I'm happy-sad crying a bit this morning, and I just want anyone who this list resonates with to know they aren't alone—that's abuse, plain and simple—and you can get out too.

Here's some info on coercive control (just ignore the ad for BetterHelp, because fuck them):

psychcentral.com/health/coerci

Psych Central · 8 Signs of Coercive ControlCoercive control refers to any pattern of harmful oppressive, dominating behavior used to force you to behave in a certain way. Recognizing the signs may help.
#Abuse#AbuseSurvivors#CoerciveControl
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Saara
I'm currently recovering from a binge eating disorder I've had for over two decades. Every time I eat sweets my impulse is to binge until I'm too nauseous to continue and my stomach hurts. What really helped me to change my behavior into healthier direction was making reasonable goals, learning to cook healthy & delicious food, planning my meals beforehand, eating a heavy breakfast full of protein and giving up perfectionism.

When it comes to changing behavior, starting with baby steps is way better than setting unrealistic goals because change needs to be sustainable. Change also requires patience because your body needs time to adapt to healthier habits. Changing behavior means you'll have to repeat a new activity so many times it becomes a pattern and a habit.

I used to talk a lot about mental health topics like addiction, eating disorders and poverty on Instagram. I might start talking more about heavier subjects again after I get over my IG burnout but it's been nice focusing on just sharing my art for a while.

#timerselfies #selfie #omakuva #portrait #portraitphoto #witchyoutfit #witchyootd #minimalistgoth #syngoniumpodophyllum #ficus #plantlovers #huonekasvit #interiordesign #purplehair #ficusbenjamina #houseplants #plantsaspets #sansevieriatrifasciata #dieffenbachiasequine #dracaenawarneckii #allblackeverything #ootd #minimalistfashion #croptop #eatingdisorders #beahaviorchange #psychology #addictions #mentalhealth
a woman in black crop top and split skirt posing with house plants
a woman in black crop top and split skirt posing with house plants
#mentalhealth
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I Should Be Elsewhere

Food for thought on the #livedexperience and #peerwork movement in #mentalhealth in the inaugural Stratford Lecture by Mind Australia, particularly in the keynote by Ellie Hodges & Q&A after - I'm definitely going to do some more reading on the Waters of Systems Change research. #australia #psychiatry #mad #eatingdisorders
mindaustralia.org.au/news/stra.

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