wielder of the zero-trust void<p>i don't want to have an autistic brain anymore. i don't want to have the experience of an abusive childhood to be able see how bad people can be, and be able to know how bad things can go.</p><p>i don't want to be able to take disparate ideas and see the connections between them any more. i don't want to see how history moves in cycles, and notice all the little things now that have parallels in the past before horrific events.</p><p>normally, i like being able to do that. i make good money with it. being able to risk/reward something quickly, without having to hem and haw, and seeing many ways a policy or software program can break has been important to me. being able to accurately assess how something will break months before it does, is something i pride myself on being able to do.</p><p>i've been able to get by with my lack of sociability, eye contact, etc pretty well. but i've delt with those my whole life.</p><p>but in the current climate, this seeing shit go down before it actually does is shitty and i don't want it anymore. i want my brain to stop. </p><p>i don't want it to understand anymore.</p><p>i want it to stop screaming at me to run as fast as i can to another country.</p><p>i want it to stop seeing former frat bros in uniforms knocking on my door.</p><p>i want the alarm bells to turn off now please.</p><p>they've been going off for too long now, but i know they won't ever for me if things go like i can see them going.</p><p><a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/autism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>autism</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/autistic" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>autistic</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/election" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>election</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/election2024" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>election2024</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/scared" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>scared</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/emigration" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>emigration</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/ohgod" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>ohgod</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/fascism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>fascism</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/trans" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>trans</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/nazi" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>nazi</span></a></p>