Starting to realize that I'll never be able to catch up on "paying back" the overstimulation debt in 90% of all environments I'm likely to inhabit in the foreseeable future.

I need more effective ways of managing this, and I need to somehow remember to actually deploy them.

help request, executive function, adhd Show more

crazy what depression does to your body, and what happiness does on the flipside

(Though maybe I should add that there's mounting evidence that schizophrenia is not a likely sentence to death by neglect in some less individualistic cultures... people can still fall into traps of perplexity due to biological antecedents of psychosis, but it turns out that culture has a large effect on what happens from that point forward, and the angry, paranoid, terrified schizophrenic is more likely to be found in western society.)

I would argue that the dominant middle/upper class culture in the USA creates untold numbers of traps like that, and that a lot of people who fall into them are less sick than the people well-adapted to that culture.

But I'm pushing the bounds of what I can articulate or even explain in a bumbling way if pressed, so I'll stop for now.

Reading about early schizophrenia as I did earlier this week gave me a new appreciation for the role of "cannot compute" states in mental illness.

Some mental illnesses - and, I should add, some healthy states of being! - involve being vulnerable to, and falling into, traps which exist in the environment due to an inability to process certain aspects of said environment.

I can't wait until I find a *chefkiss* thinkpiece written by somebody who has the same absolute perplexity as me when it comes to the barrenness of relationship so endemic to the American middle & upper classes, but who can articulate it far better.

I've been struggling to do so in my own mind for years because I'm so vulnerable to traps created by the two-faced behavior which stems from this cultural phenomenon, but I haven't gotten very far.

drug mention Show more

disturbance of self in schizophrenia Show more

what it's like becoming schizophrenic Show more

I feel like reading insightful papers on the actual experiences of selfhood reported by people living with developing schizophrenia puts a healthy bound on the (deep, and for me quite transformative) Zen concept that "true self is no self."

tfw the 10yo child & her mom are arguing over the choice of music on the ride to school and the child (who has the most robust executive function I've yet encountered in one that young) calmly explains to her mom that the morning sets her mood & energy level for the whole day and therefore she needs to manage her experience, which is something that took me my entire (much longer) life thus far to figure out, and which I've been stuck on implementing related fixes for the past 2 years :thonking:

Also, cooking regularly for a household gives my days an anchor. And it's something I can do when my head isn't good at all.

In a way it's an act of love, every time. Something about the physical ritual of transforming matter to nourish others... it's grounding. That's important.

I learned in therapy that it's important to acknowledge one's accomplishments, even the small ones. (I also learned that doing things like making lists, tracking accomplishments, etc works quite well on people who think they're too smart for it.)

Well here's a win - I make dinner 3-4 nights a week where I'm staying now, and the kids regularly scarf down my home cooking & give compliments. Even random sleepover kids.

I'm proud of that. I love to feed people. I've been working on it for decades.

I have never before felt so much empathy for Britney Spears as I did when I saw this post.

Let me tell you my favorite part of living with serious mental illness and/or developmental challenges, "explaining why I can sometimes do highly complex specialized tasks but also struggle with daily life routines most people figured out in middle school"

Self advice: If you find yourself not knowing what to do in front of your computer screen (or if you have the vague feeling there was something you had to do, but can't remember what it is),

get up and take a walk, it'll clear your mind.

When you eat something, try to make it nourishing.

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social.coop

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