Following some words of wisdom from a Zen teacher I follow, I set a goal to meditate 4 out of every 5 days. My habit tracker informs me that I'll break my longest streak - three weeks, dating back to last December - if I sit tomorrow and Friday.
This is cool. I'm hoping to get to four weeks on this streak.
Man, no wonder I've been dragging my feet on personal correspondence for almost half a year. The environment keeps happening to me, and then my thinking on the subjects I'm trying to communicate evolves, and everything earlier is obsolete.
I'm reading half-written letters from May and July and, wow. Glad I didn't finish. I need to learn to access these insights consciously instead of perceiving them as an angsty inability to work on a task for months.
…I imagine many people aren't quite as dependent on others believing in whatever they're doing in order to keep doing it, but, I suspect a spectrum exists.
And the reason I wonder about this is because when kids grow up with bad parents, bad schools, no money, no resources, etc., only a very small portion of them will pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Most get stuck in the mud.
How many kids like this exist? Kids who are so close to doing amazing things, if they only had any support?
I do wonder how many people out there are pure co-op mode players in the game of life, or close enough that it's equivalent.
For reasons I am still sorting out, I really need *some* buy-in / investment from others in all but the most personal or alluring of projects, or I quickly burn out and wander off.
I suspect I'll be working on that tendency for the first few years of What Comes Next, maybe my entire life, but to some degree this is a stable trait. And it doesn't mix well with my culture.
(-) trying to come to terms with missed opportunities Show more
There are so many amazing makers on youtube - but when I come across a HS / college age one who strikes my fancy, I inevitably end up thinking "wow, imagine what I could have accomplished if I'd had any support."
I don't think like this often, and I know it will ease when my life returns to a state where I have any energy at all to devote to pursuits beyond survival.
It's legit to grieve for what's lost, though. What a waste. Support kids.
On my first sesshin (Zen meditation retreat) - only 1.5 days, but in this community you have to do this short introductory one before you can do the longer ones. So I'm doing this one first! People I know greeted me warmly - a good feeling. Welp, off grid til Sunday afternoon.
This is WILD:
The FDA said #CBD is very safe and should not be scheduled by the federal government as a dangerous drug.
The DEA responded that international treaties block them from following this directive.
We're the ones who forced everyone into those same drug treaties decades ago.
Kansas City mayoral candidate drops out of race, citing the need to "stop running, turn around, and confront" depression and PTSD symptoms related to service in Afghanistan
USpol / Kavanaugh shitshow Show more
This will be my one post on the topic, in part because I'm male and haven't lived through an assault, unlike the vast majority of my female friends and loved ones. Even with that privileged history, I've had to drastically limit my news intake on this to protect my mental health. My heart goes out to everybody hurting from this. You're not obligated to gaze too long into the abyss if it's bad for you. There are people out here who do care about your experience. Be well.
"intolerance of personal rejection … vulnerability to the loss of romantic relationships … upon romantic disappointment, these individuals … became acutely depressed with massive dysphoria … they displayed an exaggerated giddy and/or euphoric response to romantic opportunities.
When depressed … they tended to oversleep, to overeat, with a craving for sweets … to feel extremely fatigued"
Also seeing a claimed tendency to have #PanicDisorder / #Agoraphobia or anxiety in general along with #BipolarII. Somewhere in the citations I think I saw something about a shared genetic locus but I haven't gone looking for that yet.
It's really fascinating to watch researchers teasing apart how the brain works from various angles tbh. The Western analytical knife has its drawbacks but it sure is good at finding patterns.
People with so-called atypical #Depression - those who tend to sleep more, eat more, be anxious & rejection sensitive - also tend to have a mood which improves fairly quickly when life goes their way. This is claimed to be similar for people diagnosed with #Bipolar II.
There is a lot of phenotypic overlap between people diagnosed as one or the other. Maybe they're pretty much the same thing, maybe it's a spectrum.
creepy spooky brain factoid Show more
Blindness comes in many forms, including brain injury.
The brain's visual system is a linear series of ever more abstract processing steps. An injury which breaks the information flow will render a person blind... at least consciously.
When attempting to pick up nearby objects, some people with #CorticalBlindness will scale the width of their fingers to the correct size for the object which they are consciously unable to perceive.
One type of cannabis derived insight Show more
Has anybody else been spared untold amounts of trouble by smoking #weed and then suddenly realizing that they have a bad plan, and not doing it or rethinking it?
It's always been that way for me. And this "wow that was a dumb idea" aspect of the #cannabis state of consciousness is effortless. Such #insight is not always reliably present, but when so, it comes for free.
I'd consider it a useful aspect of #THC induced anxiety, and not the only useful aspect.
(±) ruminations on insight Show more
One of the trippy things about gaining insight into your own bullshit is the subsequent wonderment about how in the hell you managed to run around for so long without said insight, and occasionally about dear god what a fool you must have looked some of those times. #ruminations #perspective #TrueSelfIsNoSelf
I won't do that too often. But sometimes I want to just drop a paper in the stream and not really explain it much, especially if it's sort of off-topic.
Differential Effects of apoE4 and Activation of ABCA1 on Brain and Plasma Lipoproteins. PLoS One. 2016 Nov 8;11(11):e0166195.
Intracellular Cholesterol Trafficking and Impact in Neurodegeneration. Frontiers in Molecular Neuroscience. 2017; 10: 382.
following mh topics; talking to anyone
social.coop is a a coop-run corner of the fediverse, a cooperative and transparent approach to operating a social platform. We are currently closed to new memberships while we improve our internal processes and policies, and plan to re-open to new folks when that work is complete. [9/2/2018]