First true zazen in exactly a month. My mind felt like a lasagna pan full of water on top of a vibrating table - no huge perturbations, but tons of little waves frothing at the surface. But it's quite good to be back to it.

Soon I will have my little spot set up in a way that is pleasing. For now, though, my altar is an upside down Amazon box.

I wonder if long distance train travel is expanding my ability to sleep in sub-optimal conditions the same way living in a motel across from a fire station did. I never used to be able to sleep in moving vehicles, but I just got a solid 9 hours curled into a pretzel across 2 coach seats. It wouldn't have happened if I had to be upright, though.

It's kind of amazing that I can sit in comfort on a train barreling thru the middle of nowhere at 80mph and have decent enough internet to do some paid work just by plugging my phone into my computer.

Also, if you book early enough, the teeny sleeper rooms aren't really that much more expensive. Less than first class air travel.

BTW, for anybody wondering about long distance train travel in the USA, it's not as good as in Europe, but that being said - if you're the type who can sleep in (large) coach seats, if you want to make several stops on your trip, and if having a very generous free baggage allowance matters to you, can be a good option.

I'm doing an entire cross country trip with 2 multi-day stops, 2 checked bags, and 2 large carry-ons, for the cost of a single cross country flight and no airport hassle.

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I'm looking forward to restarting a daily cycle which involves getting enough sleep and waking up at a stable time. My mood has been pretty stable given all the disruptions to my sleep so far. I'm about to spend 45 hours on trains and in stations, though, so we'll see how well that holds up over the next week or so.

I'm the type of person who can't really sleep on moving vehicles, but I finally broke that barrier on the last 27-hour segment. I had 2 seats to sleep across. Hoping for that again.

Tonight I'll start the last segment of my train journey. I've spent the last few days in the town where I grew up from age 5-15. It's been by turns very familiar, because I'm staying with friends who lived with me for a few years, and very unfamiliar-familiar, because it's a very conservative town with a value set quite different from the city I left a week ago, to the point that this is even reflected in the infrastructure and building styles. All in all the effect is quite surreal at times.

Help is out there. Ask for it if you need it.

Gillian Welch makes such perfect music for listening on a night train traveling across an empty high plateau.

lol, 23andme retracted my 0.1% non-white ancestry.

I'm about as white as white gets. I used to describe my un-sun-altered skin color as "dead fishbelly white," and it still is, but only if I don't eat enough veggies.

Do you have a small daily ritual? Something you do just for you?

Interesting, I'm catching up on 23andme surveys (yes, I know, but I've made my choice) and it asked me if I like any kind of melon, and then started asking me what kinds of melon I like. I wonder what their angle is. I find all melons other than watermelon to be repulsive, and I've been suspicious that it's a genetic taste thing.

capitalism encourages you to treat your body's exhaustion and physical/emotional limits as pushable, as suggestions instead of as legitimate. your body is not your enemy. your tiredness or hunger or emotionality is not an obsticle to overcome.

Before I go, a word of wisdom:

If someone older teaches you something, teach someone younger than you about it.

If someone younger teaches you something, teach someone older than you.

We often feel like "if I had only known x sooner", so let's help move it along.

I always deprive myself of sleep one way or another before travel, especially if there are Feelings involved. By now I don't really know any other way to make a geographic transition.

This time, though, I'm not really lonely. Just existing in the familiar slightly-desaturated haze, being pulled along by my astral tether.

Well, I made it 1.25 decades in my adopted home, but now it's time for a break. Today I ride.

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social.coop

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