I reviewed the So, You Think You Want To Live At A Zen Monastery letter / rules etc, and printed out the application.
Even though I'm not looking to do this til autumn at the earliest, the act of applying still fills me with dread, because I can be told no, and that's a Thing for me. And I already hold the people there in high regard.
However, it is sooooo much easier to contemplate / do now that the ball is rolling. Only took me 7 months or more to get here, but now I'm here.