mild lewd directed at reader 

i lock my gaze on you with bedroom eyes, cross the room and put my hands firmly on your waist. i look you up and down with longing and a deep, deliberate inhale. finally i lean in to whisper gently, softly in your ear, "got any gwapes?"

NB: this is a joke, please don't be scared off because i said its lewd - it's more like.. racy? innuend...ous?

please give the good bloops for my horrible brain

@redoak it's too terrible, I can't imagine hearing this without instantly slapping the speaker across the face as hard as possible, just on instinct


@Louisa lmao, but also šŸ˜³ šŸ˜³

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