nico says boosted

got my ticket for the property redistribution lottery. hoping for a nice house or maybe a small storefront. i was disappointed to learn that shopping centers were excluded since they're large public spaces that are going to be repurposed for the people's wellbeing

oh well, you can't win a mall

I can't remember the @ of the person who lives in New York and does air guitar in a Devo hat but I want to send this does anyone know who I mean

so i started this job in march and they normally have a six month probation but they passed me early because I'm beating all the targets and topping all the stats for the department but I've been asked not to mention it to anyone because they think it would upset the rest of the team who had to wait six months or are still working towards it and it's kinda weird

if you're wondering "am I x enough" then dude you are x as fuck (true for all values of x)

not like in an emo way but does anyone else find the physical sensation of a tear running down your face to be almost orgasmic

work have scheduled a meeting for my lunch break tomorrow and two meetings after I finish work next week so I'm totally going to get them back by whinging about it a little

hey remember how they said it was just a phase

@Atsuko somehow these are exactly what I pictured when I read "pride goats" they are delightful

I think it stems from how I had to pretend I would only eat Doritos for a bit as a kid desperate to get that last star wars tazo I needed

Show thread

sometimes I think "I'm not sure if I still hate Doritos" so I buy Doritos but I do

I can really recommend craft beer if you have a desperate need to rationalise your addiction as a hobby

@hypolite Hawks is a really crap English comedian (occasionally in Red Dwarf if you've seen that) best known for his drunken bet that resulted in him hitchhiking across Ireland with a fridge. He made a film about it but it's rubbish

yeah skating games are fun but where's Tony Hawks' pro fridge hitchhiker

@hypolite did a radio show when I was a student but the union had pretty serious gear so it was very different. I do need to spend a bit of time faffing getting it to sound better this week, definitely. Thank you

Show more

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!