It's kinda weird to get mesmerized by a pop song on the radio, look up the artist and find out it's somebody who grew up 15 miles from your family member who is still trapped living with a personality disordered parent. The pop star is 5 years younger than said family member as well.

Causes and conditions.

USA coronavirus response 

USA coronavirus response, uspol 

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USA coronavirus response 

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USA coronavirus response 

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USA coronavirus response 

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USA coronavirus response 

Different paper: "As sensory experiences are intensely personal, the first-hand accounts of people with autism spectrum disorder may have greater validity than caregiver reports, but these have never been systematically researched"

Publication date: 2013.

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This - sensory avoidance on my part, and zero understanding beyond the superficial on the part of others - already contributed to the implosion of one friendship with someone I lived with.

At that time, I didn't understand what was happening. Now I do, but I haven't effectively communicated it yet.

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For instance, I've barely hung out with my housemates in months.

I actually like both of them a lot. But when they're together, the Type A one drives such an incessant whirlwind of activity and A/V media that it raises the cost of simply being nearby.

Since I have so little energy to begin with, and since I'm still trying to rebuild a shattered life, I end up avoiding them so their attentional pollution doesn't drain energy that could be better spent elsewhere. Even if it ultimately isn't.

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Found in a paper: "Two complementary strategies are presented that can help individuals more effectively manage their attentional resource. One strategy involves avoiding unnecessary costs in terms of expenditure of directed attention. The other involves enhancing the effect of restorative opportunities."

I avoid the hell out of "unnecessary costs," sometimes in problematic ways.

Need to get this more balanced and much more proactive.

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"As investigated by attention restoration theory, natural environments, such as forests, mountain landscapes or beaches, appear to be particularly effective for restoring attention, perhaps because they contain a vast amount of diverse, relatively weak stimuli, thus inciting the mind to wander freely while relaxing its strict focus.[12]"

Just wanted to highlight that bit, because I think it's highly accurate. For me, anyway.

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I really need to develop *AND USE* better coping mechanisms for directed attention fatigue / autistic burnout / whatever I'm experiencing.

Quarantine has been a problem but I have contributed in a big way by failing to use some coping mechanisms I do know about (walking, exercise, various self-care actions). I've been really off my game and just not doing well, haven't had the motivation to endlessly work the f@$%ng program, etc.

Fortunately this weekend I am staying at a quiet place.

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Directed

this basically describes.. eh, I would say the majority of my sensory/social overload & "stress dementia" symptoms... it's like lagging directed attention fatigue which persists for days.

it's been quite a ride learning that human voices & activity near me will drain the same pool as things like thinking about complex problems, or really doing anything which requires effort and isn't mindless.

sensory/social sensitivity 

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(-) sensory/social sensitivity 

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(-) sensory/social sensitivity 

@cluster_b_clusterfuck I don't personally care much about it. But I read recently that there were temporary waivers to the regs that required them to use (for example) Zoom Medical Grade (or whatever), due to COVID. I'm not sure when they expire, maybe in the fall, there was a whole article about the sudden shift to getting one's head shrunk over video call and the fact that it drastically helps poor / tired ppl for whom transport to appointments was a burden. can't recall where I saw it

thinking back, the idea of "I need a certain minimum amount of alone time with no other people present" first appeared on my radar as such in about 2010 or so.

@cluster_b_clusterfuck 90% sure they were using regular insecure Zoom under the temp waiver due to COVID-19

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