Humans are born to be artists, scientists, artisans, and philosophers. Children love nothing more than creative expression, learning to understand things, making things with their hands, and asking deep questions.

But society teaches us not to do these things, training us instead to be β€œproductive”. We’re sculpted to fit into a world obsessed with jobs, money, and ownership, and we’re forced to give up the most important parts of ourselves in order to do so – our creativity, and our curiosity.

@stackingstones Even their web site is terrible, trying to book a point to point multi stop trip is a giant inscrutable pain. :( Okay, bitching about it isn't gonna change it, it was bad the last few times I used it and it's still bad, though at least the vast majority of the trains I've taken were comfy.

@stackingstones Yup. I've had terrible luck with Amtrak delays, one long one due to the track sharing issue, and two due to accidents that weren't Amtrak's fault. Still, I think the rate of problems would be lower if we actually had a robust national rail network.

@stackingstones Yeah, I've only taken Amtrak for fairly uncomplicated trips before (1-2 trains, 500 miles max) and had already gotten that impression... the USA Rail Pass is still probably the cheapest way to do what I want, but it seems like a pain compared to everything I've heard about rail passes overseas. I didn't get a pass myself when I was in Europe but had friends who did.

So for example, the Amtrak Rail Pass can be a good deal for multi-segment travel (at least, compared to buying the tickets outright at regular price), but you have to get the pass, and then reserve seats anyway, and get tickets for those seats, and so it basically seems like a voucher that can be redeemed for up to m segments over n days?

Am I wrong in thinking this is a lot more pointlessly complicated than rail passes in Europe in 2019? I haven't been in Europe in a long time.

I'm not super thrilled with how SOME members of USA government collaborate to make Amtrak service all patchwork & weird with high prices & byzantine rules (compared to certain other continents) and then constantly try to cut funding for it because it doesn't turn a profit or whatever.

(I decided to take the train to where I'm going rather than fly, as it allows me far greater travel flexibility - needed with my chaotic life - and the ability to visit friends on the way, plus checked baggage.)

Doing another sort on my property before most gets stored. I established a gradient ranging from "can be stored immediately without further involvement" at the side of the room closest to its final destination (the basement), to "definitely needs eyeballing, repacking, handling" at the other side.

I'm still very tired from the move-out ordeal & need to sit down a lot after little bursts of work, and this is on my full daily dose of Dexedrine ER, plus caffeine, which I rarely use in combination.

@Spinalflora Whew yeah that does make it tough. Well good luck!

@Spinalflora Tightly regulating circadian rhythm is pretty much step 0 toward stability for a lot of bipolar people. A belated welcome to the Fediverse :)

Experiences like this over the past 3 years keep reminding me I want to learn about - Interpersonal and Social Rhythm Therapy. It's one of the few therapies specifically for disorder.

A big contributor to my issues where I lived before was that I could not get integrated into the rhythm of the household no matter what I tried. From that, I've learned how absolutely 100% critical this is for my survival. So I'm curious what IPSRT has to say about it.

With the level of stress and fatigue I experienced in the last days/weeks/months, if this had happened 3 years ago I would be lying in the dark and spiraling into major instability and depression. But I'm not.

Don't get me wrong, I fully expect some instability over the next week - you can't kick a sleep cycle around like this and not expect it - but this could be so much worse. And instead of making it worse, I'm helping myself.

One reason I'm posting seemingly mundane status updates that boil down to "remembering to eat! yesss!" is that this is actually a big deal for me.

In the past few months before leaving my old place, the situation had become extremely toxic. Then the move-out was really difficult for many reasons, culminating in a forced march fueled by a lucky surplus of an old ADHD prescription.

But I've come so far in the 3 years since I ended up at that previous abode after a very similar ordeal.

Continuing to bounce back pretty quickly from the move-out ordeal.

Walked 10 blocks to the market last night and was so tired I had to rest several times there & back. Slept ~12 hours, long complex dream arcs with new girls, spiritual gatherings, being lost in crowds, bobcat family encounters, and a tornado dancing in a field.

Slow return to reality this morning: managed to get 25 min of drowsy meditation in, albeit lying down with a cat on me - no space for cushion yet. Now, tea and food.

Well I finally got moved out of the old place and landed at my first waystation. Moving was a huge ordeal and my first order of business is to make sure I re-normalize the basics: sleep, food, meditation, self-care.

Got some circadian lighting set up and aimed at the couch I'm on, and a little altar set up (which isn't strictly necessary with Zen, but it's a behavioral "pull" factor for meditation).

All in all my mood could be a lot worse than it is. So that's good! Physically drained though.

asking for money, mental health, incredibly negative Show more

neurodiversity Show more

@AbbieNormal FB spam controls are way more draconian than in the past.

Use a separate browser profile or wrapper app (e.g. Metal on Android) such that you are NOT using incognito mode or clearing the cookies each time.

The algo will be more suspicious of you if you have no profile photo, and if your profile photo is one of a different person or celebrity that is all over the web.

Once you have some friends who interact with you, and some usage history, it is more lenient.

Listen to the wind, the rain, the sound of a crackling fire. IRL if you can and with an app if you can't.

That sorting & prepping is a big deal. I'm splitting my stuff into what stays and what comes with; I want to be able to return to my city with nothing but what's in my backpack and rapidly reconstitute a minimal life, even if have $0 and for some reason need to live outdoors a while. Unlikely but not impossible.

When viewed in this context, suddenly the obsessive care I'm putting into prep becomes very understandable. Live outdoors once or twice and you develop an appreciation for preparedness.

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