So, I got the official diagnosis today. Doesn't tell me anything I didn't know, but nice to have it official. #actuallyautistic

Also a real learning experience in how fucked up #autism diagnosis actually is. In addition to the issue I mentioned previous--psych wouldn't even discuss autism until I told him how a diagnosis would benefit me (WTF!?), the diagnostic criteria are messed up.
1/n

I got assessments for depression, anxiety, and ADHD at the same time I got assessed for #autism. Which made it really obvious that the autism assessment criteria were all about external symptoms--what I did and what other people see.

But everything else was about internal symptoms--my mental experiences and subjective sense of myself.

The impact of this was very clear in post assessment discussion of treatment options.
2/n

Any mention of executive dysfunction--the part of #autism that gives me the most trouble--was ignored or dismissed by the evaluator.

All she wanted to talk about was treatment that can address my social issues and how I maybe shouldn't look for treatments to help me stop stimming bc stimming obvious has benefits for me, and if folks think I act weird than that is their problem and they need to be more accepting.

Right there, this assessor is better than most.
3/n

But the way both the assessments and offered treatment options completely ignore my, yah know MENTAL state and MENTAL function and how my MIND is fucking up my life in a MENTAL health assessment for a MENTAL "disorder"...

Can we agree this is a problem? That stuff which is based in our minds should be assessed and treated based on our minds and experiences and not other people's outside perspective and assumptions?

I'm not looking for help with social stuff.
4/n

I'm actually, for an #actuallyautistic person, pretty damn good at social stuff with in the limits of my executive function and sensory issues.

I don't need to learn how to read people. I need the fucking psychs to fucking realize that #autism is not JUST the stuff that they can see and start offering help with the stuff that is actually a problem for me--the executive dysfunction
5/n

My needs are different from other autistic people's needs. Some folks need help with social stuff. Some folks need help redirecting unhealthy or dangerous stims. Some need other shit.

But I don't know any #actuallyautistic person, no matter how well they mask or don't, who doesn't struggle with executive function. Who doesn't live in a mental world completely different from allistic folks.

It's time that #autism psychology recognizes that.
6/6.

@jessmahler It sounds like in some ways you have found it to be really helpful.

But as you stated right from the start "It didn't tell me anything I didn't already know."

I think that was a big part of it for me too. Except, in a lot of ways it *did* tell me stuff I didn't know. Or more, it told me clearly what I only suspected was true, actually *was* true.

That being that the system is badly messed up.

@jessmahler The only resources which exist, which I can access, which are actually helpful, and are local (meeting all four criteria) are ones I have created for myself.

As you have stated, autistic people (and a lot of other types of people) have significant (to serious) issue with executive functioning.

Often, people will see those of us who have "sort of" figured this out for ourselves as "really organized" because it's the only way we get through.

@JigmeDatse I'm curious what you mean by "really organized." Part of how I'm trying to drag myself up out of the muck is with a homebrew system of rolling calendar reminders, etc. I rely on my phone to remind me not only of appointments and social engagements, but daily things like "eat breakfast" which, if I do successfully integrate into my routine, will likely be forgotten if it's disrupted for three days.
@jessmahler